Let’s just be honest with each other for a second: I didn’t buy an air fryer to be healthy. I bought one because I wanted happiness. needed comfort, needed to know that even if my life was a maelstrom of emails, existential dread, and mercilessly withering houseplants, at least I could have one thing: crispy joy in under 15 minutes.
In an era where we must hustle, glow up, and know what a 401(k) is at the age of 23, the humble air fryer offers something counter to the zeitgeist: instant satisfaction. It’s not a gadget. It’s a lifestyle. It’s self-love with a golden-brown finish.
The First Sizzle is the Deepest
The day that my air fryer arrived, I unwrapped it like a Fabergé egg. There it stood , black, sleek, mysterious. I didn’t know whether to cook with it or take it to dinner.
I started small. Some frozen fries, because I’m not here to impress anyone, not even myself. Seven minutes and those fries appeared like tiny golden soldiers out of a crunchy renaissance. I took a bite and suddenly I knew: this was therapy.
Therapy that didn’t tell me, “And how did that make you feel?” It told me, “Would you like dipping sauce with that?”
Mental Health, But Make It Crispy
There’s something nearly religious about hearing the soft buzzing of an air fryer operating on autopilot while you sit around and do absolutely nothing useful. It’s meditation with a mozzarella stick on the side.
Cooking in a pan? That requires oil, attention, and emotional stability. The air fryer? Just toss it in, press a button, and pretend your life isn’t spiraling while the machine handles everything like the emotionally available partner you’ve never had.
Studies probably don’t show that air frying makes stress evaporate, but I can personally vouch that stress is 40% more manageable if you’re holding a plate of perfectly crispy cauliflower bites and calling them “dinner.”
I Swear I’m Healthy (Sort Of)
There are people who use their air fryer to make kale chips and chickpea tofu. I’m both jealous and resentful of them.
Me? I’m standing out here air frying pizza rolls and serving them to myself as portion control. Is this a wellness trend if I top it with avocado? (Don’t answer that.)
The beauty of the air fryer is that it makes you imagine you’re being healthy because there is no oil employed, you know, as if removing one spoonful of fat will undo the fact that you just air fried an entire sleeve of taquitos at 11:43 PM in your nightgown while watching reruns of Frasier.
But wait, if recovery is a plate of air-fried onion rings and a rebirth of hope, who am I to complain?
Culinary Couch Time
You know that moment when a therapist asks, “What can you do this week to take care of yourself?” and your brain goes blank? Here’s the answer: crispy Brussels sprouts. Listen to me.
It’s my new journaling, really: air frying. Quick. Simple. No gut-plumbing exercises required. And sometimes, it means epiphanies,l ike the one when I finally realized that chicken nuggets are merely adult pacifiers we masticate.
My therapist has requested that I experiment with “unconventional relaxation techniques.” I’m not sure she was prodding me toward 9 AM air frying puff pastry-wrapped brie. But here we are, making progress.
Less Mess, More Healing
Now, let’s talk about cleanup. Or, rather, the lack thereof.
Do you have a sense of what emotional labor is like? Scrubbing the pots. Wiping down oil-slick countertops. Soaking pans overnight only to have your roommate place them on your bed as a not-so-subtle reminder the following morning.
But the air fryer? Pop out the basket, give it a quick rinse, and it’s back in the game. It respects your time. It understands your limits. says, “Baby, you’ve got enough going on, let me handle dinner.”
Final Thoughts from the Crispy Throne
In a chaotic world, the air fryer is the unsung hero of self-care. There’s no judgment for your lack of culinary ambition, no raised eyebrows when sweet potato fries make their third consecutive appearance. Instead, it offers warmth, crunch, and a fleeting moment of peace in a sea of madness.
So if you’re feeling stressed, tired, alone, or plain hungry with a pinch of existential dread, I highly recommend a course of Air Fryer Therapy. No copay, no awkward small talk, just press a button and watch it all turn golden and lovely.
And remember: you are deserving of joy. You are deserving of healing. And most importantly, you are deserving of snacks that pack a punch.
